There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It's blow job season.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
