5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
