Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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