Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize