WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
