just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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