Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize