I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I will pee on everything he values.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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