even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Blood and glitter go together right?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
