there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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