Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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