What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
