Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
