I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
