you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
