I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
