That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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