arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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