i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
