what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
