I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It's blow job season.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
