dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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