God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
