i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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