I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
