Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
