i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
