break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
