it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
