not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
The ass gains better be worth it
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