how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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