Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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