We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
