I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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