what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
