I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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