Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
