Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
