I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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