I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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