I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
