The brown eye won't let me do that either.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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