Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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