Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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