Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
