do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
