it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
