I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
