Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
