Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
what day is it and did you see me today?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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