I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
