I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
he shaved USA in his pubs
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
