He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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