i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
3pm strippers are depressing
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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