my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
