he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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