cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
