She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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