I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
