when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
