anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
