why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
