ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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